There Goes My Life
by babysis
Summary: BD SPOILERS! My second attempt at a short, fluffy Edward/Renesmee moment. There's not really romance in this, but whatever. Read the author's note to explain the song!


I can't help it. I love writing these father/daughter moments between Edward and Renesmee. I have to make up the stories in my head since they weren't in the book. I like to pretend these really happened (well, in the book, I mean). So here's my second attempt at writing Edward and Renesmee. Oh, and I know the song doesn't exactly match what happened in the book, but I think the meaning of the song does. Thinking it's a mistake, then falling completely in love with it. You know?

* * *

_All he could think about was_

_I'm too young for this_

_Got my whole life ahead_

_Hell, I'm just a kid myself_

_How'm I gonna raise one?_

When I first realized that Bella was pregnant, all I could think to do was get rid of it. It would kill her, and I couldn't exist without Bella. It was a monster. Murderer. Besides, we weren't ready for kids. We hadn't planned on having any. It was supposed to be impossible. How was I supposed to be a father? Especially to something that I hated? I couldn't be. A father shouldn't hate his child. But it was _killing_ her. My Bella. She didn't deserve to die. I hated whatever put her in danger. This thing put her life in jeopardy. I couldn't allow it.

_All he could see were his dreams goin' up in smoke_

_So much for ditchin' this town_

_And hangin' on the coast_

_Oh well, those plans are long gone_

_And he said_

Bella had plans. She said she wanted to go to college for a year, to Dartmouth. She couldn't do that if she had a kid. But she wouldn't let us take it out. She even got Rosalie to help her. _Rosalie_, of all people. I didn't understand. Why did she want to save the very thing that was murdering her? It didn't make any sense. I couldn't fathom it. Whenever something put Bella in danger, I removed it. What was so different this time?

_There goes my life_

_There goes my future_

_My everything_

_Might as well kiss it all goodbye_

_There goes my life…_

I eventually gave in. If taking the monster out would make Bella unhappy, I couldn't do it. But what if it killed her? Would make that her happy? Dying? Is that what she truly wanted? I didn't know. All I knew was that letting Bella carry the child would make her happy, so I would let her do it. I would watch her waste away. But then something happened.

I heard the baby.

I heard it thinking. It _loved_ Bella. It loved her. It didn't want to hurt or kill her. It just wanted to get out and meet it's mother and…me? It loved me too? After all the things I'm sure it heard me say about it, it still loved me? I asked it once while Bella was asleep. I could only hope it understood me. Then I heard it think. _Of course I still love you. You're my daddy. I love you no matter what._ I was sold. This was my baby. My child. A part of me and a part of Bella. I had to do everything I could to protect it, to keep it alive. It was what Bella wanted. If things went wrong, I could still save Bella. I had put some of my venom in a syringe last night. I could inject it into her heart and bite her in several places. It would work. It would have to.

And it did. Bella had the baby. Renesmee. Our daughter.

_A couple years of up all night and a few thousand diapers later_

_That mistake he thought he'd made covers up the refrigerator _

_Oh yeah…he loves that little girl_

There she is now. My little Nessie. She was playing checkers with Emmett. For a human, it would be a strange sight to see a girl who looks to be about 4-years-old (thought she was only 6 months) playing, and winning, at checkers, but it was perfectly normal around here. I watched as her eyes scanned the board, contemplating her next move. Her brows were knit together in concentration. Her mouth formed a perfect "o". I saw her eyes, beautiful brown eyes inherited from her mother, widen as she saw where she could capture one of Emmett's pieces, also resulting in making her piece a king.

"King me!" she exclaimed.

"What! No! You cheated. There's no way that's possible," Emmett complained. Oh yeah. It was definitely possible.

"Sorry, Uncle Em, but I win. Again," she giggled.

"Oh yeah?" he growled. She got up and ran to me as Emmett chased her.

"Daddy! Daddy, save me! There's a big, mean grizzly bear trying to get me!"

I laughed and picked her up.

"Is that so?" I said, playing along. "Well, baby, no big, mean grizzly bear is going to get you while I'm around. I promise."

"You wanna bet?" Emmett said, walking in front of me.

"I would, but you're bets always leave me standing in the mall naked with pink hair."

Emmett let out his booming laugh. "You _have_ to admit that was funny!"

"Oh yeah," I agreed, "It was a real knee slapper. Don't you have to go brush Rose's hair 100 times or something?"

"Jeez, Ed, if you wanted to get rid of me, just say so." Emmett gave Nessie a kiss on the head and glided up the steps.

_Daddy?_, Nessie questioned in her thoughts, _Can we go look at it?_

"Sure, baby girl," I said and walked in the kitchen. We were in there a lot more often than before since Nessie sometimes craved human food.

For Christmas, Jacob gave Bella a camera. Since his imprint on Nessie, he was kind of part of the family. I can't say I liked the fact that he would marry my daughter some day, but there wasn't much I could do about it. He made her happy, even at her current age, and I would never be able to take that away from her. Anyway, Bella had used her camera solely on Renesmee. Her pictures covered the refrigerator. There were pictures of just Nessie, such as one of her chasing a butterfly in the meadow and another of her sleeping. Some were of her with her various family members. On Emmett's shoulders or curled in Rose's lap. With Alice at the mall or reading with Jasper. Playing with a stethoscope with Carlisle or sewing with Esme. My favorite was of her and Bella. They were covered in feathers, the result of a pillow fight. Bella was looking at Renesmee, laughing, while Nessie was looking cross-eyed at a feather landed delicately on her button nose, a smile teasing her lips.

_I like this one_. Renesmee pointed to one of me and her. I was playing piano and she was curled on my chest. It was the day I had first taken her to the meadow. I remember her humming along to her favorite piece. Clair de Lune by Claude Debussy. The picture was in black and white. I was staring down at Nessie; she had her head rested on my shoulder and her eyes closed. She looked like an angel. I have to admit that it was also one of my favorites.

_Daddy, can you go play-_, She cut her own thought off with a yawn. I checked the time. She should be in bed. I chuckled.

"Maybe tomorrow, ok? It's bed time now."

_But, Daddy-_

"No buts. You're very tired. You need your rest. Do you want to go back to the house or just sleep here?" I asked.

_Here._

"Ok, that's fine." I put her down and she walked sleepily to the steps. Bella was at the top of them.

"Come on, princess, sleepy time," she called. "I'll tuck you in. Maybe I'll even read a bed time story," she added slyly. That always made Nessie climb in her bed hastily.

_Momma's waitin' to tuck her in_

_As she fumbles up those stairs_

_She smiles back at him, dragging that teddy bear_

_Sleep tight_

_Blue eyes and bouncin' curls_

_He smiles_

"Hold on, Momma. I gotta say goodnight to Daddy," she said and turned around to me. I was sitting at the bottom of the stairs. I knew she wouldn't fall down, part of being half vampire, but I wanted to be sure. She walked a few short steps to me and I put my arms around her. She buried her head in my shoulder.

_Goodnight, Daddy. Do you promise to play the song tomorrow?_

"Promise," I said. I'd do anything to make her smile.

And there it was. That beautiful, angelic smile. I couldn't help but to grin back at her.

_Good. I love you, Daddy. I'll dream for you._

It was a thing we had. She always feels bad that I can't technically dream so one day I told her that if she dedicated one of her dreams to me every night, it would be just as good as if I was dreaming myself. It truly was.

"Thank you. I love you forever, cupcake."

Cupcakes were one of her favorite human desserts. She loved it when I called her that. I kissed her forehead and she kissed my cheek before turning for the steps. I caught Bella's eye and gave her a smile that was reserved for her. She smiled back.

I watched as Renesmee climbed up the steps.

_There goes my life_

_There goes my future_

_My everything_

_I love you, Daddy, goodnight_

_There goes my life_

As I watched, all I could think was, _she is my life now. Now and forever, my little taste of heaven._

* * *

I don't like this one as much as my first one. Oh well. Reviews?


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